Actor Leonard Nimoy, best known to generations of Science Fiction fans as Spock the highly logical pointy-eared Vulcan from Star Trek, has shocked the entertainment world this morning after revelations that he is suing legendary Motown chanteuse Diana Ross. Nimoy is angered that Ross is earning millions from back sales of records by The Supremes and that he hasn't seen a cent of the royalties. "It is a little known fact, and is often overlooked, but I was in The Supremes in the early days, just before the opening on Star Trek came along. I just want what's coming to me. Diana is getting far too greedy these days, and she should remember those of us who were there at the beginning and who helped her on her way up to the top."
posted by Gina Snowdoll 3:20 PM
STOP PRESS Reports are just now coming in that Tom Selleck has invaded Poland, in what eyewitnesses are describing as a "loud and offensive shirt". The international community spearheaded by President Bush and Tony Blair have called an emergency meeting of heads of state. It is not yet known what action will be taken against Mr Selleck, star of TV's Magnum, but early reports state that we cannot rule out the possibility of air strikes against him.
Insider sources tell us that Mr Selleck was admonished and "severely warned" following the Three Men and a Baby fiasco along with his co-conspirators Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson. The actor was advised that he must act peacably, and that if he ever tried anything dodgy again, he'd have the rest of the civilised world to answer to.
posted by Eric 2:42 PM
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
Boredom in Penguins: A Real-Life 21st Century Crisis
A wildlife report has today revealed that penguins, which inhabit some of the coldest most inhospitable regions of our planet, are becoming increasingly more and more bored by the minute. Penguins in Antartica have already been observed building snow penguins for entertainment. Plans are already afoot to drop supplies of board games, toys and crossword puzzle books by Christmas, but P.E.C.K. - the Penguin Entertainment Crisis Kommittee - insist that this is not soon enough, and that if we don't send out some decent stuff, such as Nintendos, Game Boys and perhaps the odd Tracy Island set for the occassional nostalgic penguin, then the comical looking birds may very well give up on us altogether and take flight for their home planet. Or something.
posted by Gina Snowdoll 6:06 PM
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